One of the best parts of my job here at MyGamer is being able to attend what I believe is truly "The Greatest Show On Earth": E3. And the best part of that job is the fact that I get to, once again, photograph and review the world's best "software": the E3 Booth Babes.
After I did this last year, I got a few comments that my commentary was a bit, how to put it? Crass? Immature? OK, so maybe it was, so I'd like to make things right. I mean, these girls really do have a brutal job: standing in the pulsing noise and heat of the crowded show halls, wearing little more than a strategically placed spandex hankie and platform-heeled, feet-destroying stiletto heels, with a welcoming smile pasted to their faces for hours at a time, often while being man-handled by sweaty gamers that seem to have forgotten that their hotel rooms do, in fact, have showers. It must be hell.
And yet, despite all this, somehow… somehow, they are always the ones that makes us feel welcome. That allow us to bask in the reflected light of their dazzling white smiles. That give us something soft and shimmering to look at amongst the eye-watering lights, colors and explosions that fill up every E3 moment.
A few months back, we heard that E3 planned to enforce some decency standards relating to the Booth Babe's attire, comments that lead to many scenes of outright panic. "NO BOOTH BABES AT E3 THIS YEAR!!" many screamed in terror. Some likened it to the coming of the Apocalypse. Well, we're here to assure you that those rumors were exaggerated in the extreme for, as you will soon see, the tradition of E3's Booth Babes is in fact alive and well and, if anything, is even better than ever before. And now, without further ado, let's meet this year's crop of Babes:
20- We begin our roundup with three cuties from the N Gage booth (what? They brought that thing back to life again?) As you can see, deciding which one is in fact the best one is quite impossible, so I'll just let them share the award.
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19- Booth Babe #19, courtesy of Trimersion, was not only about the only Babe action happening down in Kentia Hall this year, but in her silvery space duds she was also, it appears, defying earthly gravity. Thank you for your world-changing work, Trimersion…
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18- We spotted Babe #18 on the show floor in South Hall working the booth for, I think, the new Cars game. If this is the direction that Pixar plans to go in the future, well, then, maybe I'll need to revise my opinions of movie-franchise games.
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17- Lady #17 was manning the "Power of Korea Game" booth in South, and makes our list due to, in the words of MyGamer Features Editor Scott Schopman, her amazing "dirty mom" powers. I have to say that I agree wholeheartedly, Scott..
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16- This brace of lovlies were manning the outside of some booth we can't really remember over in the main hall. Hey, cute, inviting smiles, flat tummies and kitty ears- what's not to love?
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15- Babe #15 returns to the Review fresh from her appearance on last year's list. This THQ honey was just so darned cute and fresh that we had to ask her to step out of the crowd for a solo shot this year. I must compliment THQ on their good taste in having her return to the show for an encore.
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14- Lady #14 is not, technically, a Booth Babe at all. She was almost the very first thing I saw each morning as I arrived at the West Hall, where she was stationed, arms laden with E3 daily newspapers, at the top of the entryway steps. Just goes to show that, at E3, beauty can be found almost everywhere. In the words of Randy Newman: "I love LA!"
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13- Babe #13 was standing at the bottom of the elevators leading up to the press suite, pimping some sort of "babes of gaming" book. She was just so approachable and sunny that I felt she had to be included, despite her obviously low-quality t-shirt. We forgive you…
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12- Our #12 Babes were stationed in West Hall, where they did a damn fine job distracting Scott, Alex and I while we attempted to play the new Australian MMO, Fury. Every single time these ladies would turn around to have a photo shot with some lucky guy, my eyes would be inevitably drawn to those shorts… Ah, well, what's 73 consecutive frags when the scenery is so enticing?
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11- This quartet of female allure was hanging about the Webzen booth in South Hall, and seemed willing to pose for me while I crouched and lingered, trying my best to "find just the right angle". Thanks for not calling Security on me ladies. I really cannot pick a favorite amongst them, but the one on the right just beckons me with that smile…
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10- Aaaaand- the mid-point of our 2006 Booth Babe review goes to none other than.. Cammy! I know, I know… "she's not a real girl". Duh. But, really, come on… look at that… erm… topography. This little honey is literally that… little. As in, about 12" tall, and was locked in a glass case at the Capcom booth in South Hall. I wonder how I get one of those on eBay…
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9- Babes #9 were actually the very first photo I shot on Wednesday. I really can't remember where they were standing in South or what they were pimping, but, really, who cares? When I saw these smoking Babes, I knew that the reports of the Booth Babes' death had been greatly exaggerated. Thank God.
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8- These lovlies were always hanging about the food court near the entrance to West Hall. Why are they dressed like fantasy Eskimos? Again, really, who cares? These ladies went through several costume changes during the course of the show, but this was my favorite outfit. Their sultry, pouting looks, however, were as constant as the Northern Star. Hope to see you again next year, girls!
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7- Babe #7 is the feisty brunette on the right (the blonde on the left is featured in our "Special Awards" section at the bottom of the page). Her purple bikini "armor" had me hypnotized for far too long. Alas, so enticing were her hips and her "come hither" smile, that I find myself completely unable to remember any of the games showcased at the Sony Online booth that she was standing in front of. Oh wait, that was because of the games themselves– my bad. Hey, Sony, at least your babes made me hang around your booth for ten times as long as I would have otherwise…
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6- Booth Babe #6 was standing around… some booth… somewhere. Scott also gave her a "dirty mom" thumbs-up, which made me begin to wonder if Scott were, in fact, a minor and had faked an ID to get into the adults-only expo. Seriously, Scott, are you smoking crack? No matter what her age, this babe shows that beauty is, indeed, ageless, and thank you, oh thank you, for whoever thought to make that bikini thing out of such stretchy red material.
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5- Lady #5 was posted all the way in the boonies at the far end of South Hall, where the crowds were thin. Her costume and props, not to mention her fantastic bedroom eyes, were one of the highlights of the show. What game was she representing? Um…
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4- At one point I decided to take a shortcut outside, between the main show floors and I am so glad that I did. This exquisite lady caught my eye from clear across a dimly-lit tent, where she was hawking cell phone games. After this shot she dutifully shoved some sort of plastic bag filled with crap into my hands, which I took with a dazed smile. I mean, holy cow… look at those eyes. We need to get this lady into a chainmail bikini stat!
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3- We almost got into a fistfight one evening, arguing over which of these two beauties was the hottest (the overall consensus was the one on the left was just a wee bit more smoking), but as you can see, both are indeed fabulous. Right after I took this, I joined them in front of their booth for a photo of my own, where they told me to "use them as props". The mind boggles.
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2- Our runner-up for this year's "Ultimate MyGamer Booth Babe" is the Supergirl on the right. Her smile and guileless blue eyes totally cut through the crusty layers of cynicism I've grown on my soul, convincing me that perhaps the world is, in fact, a place where Truth, Justice and the American Way can triumph. I have no idea how Ru Paul got into the shot beside her, though… Sorry. We need to get this babe in the movies, where she belongs.
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And this year's Ultimate MyGamer Booth Babe Award goes to:
1- This trio of female allure was stationed in West Hall at the Playlogic booth. I recognized the fine lady in the center from last year's round-up. Throughout the day and into the evening, her smile and gargantuan brown eyes haunted me, so when it came time to chose a winner for this year, the choice, really, was no contest, proving that gentlemen do, in fact, prefer brunettes. I'm thrilled to announce that this year's MyGamer.com Ultimate Booth Babe award goes to… Kathie Smith!
(Click the picture for a larger version)
Congratulations, Kathie and thanks so much for making this year's E3 such a memorable occasion. We wish you the best of luck with your current web venture, and hope to see you at next year's show! Please keep us informed of any new projects you might be working on (particularly if they include pictures… heh), and we'll be sure to post follow-ups.
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Special Award- Hottest Babe We Didn't Actually Meet- This babe can be seen in our exclusive video of the Nintendo Wii line, shot by and featuring Scott Schopman and edited by Alex Ely. She could have been right behind the wall, or all the way in Japan- we have no idea. Either way, she is indeed hot beyond almost any measure (plus, hearing Scott moan every time I pulled this image up was just priceless). Congrats to Miss Whoever-you-are on our first-ever Hottest Virtual E3 Babe.
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Special Awards
Draftiest Costume- You saw her above, but here's a close-up of what's possibly the draftiest costume at this or any other E3. I mean, come on… what exactly is this "armor" supposed to protect against? Certainly not lewd stares…
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Worst Use Of Duct Tape- OK, so it's probably really made of some sort of plasticized fabric, but God help us all if it doesn't look like duct tape. Kentia really was a vast wasteland this year, Babe-wise (sigh).
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Scariest Pose- Alas, three seconds after this shot was taken, "Big Red" here sneezed and sliced poor Alex's head clean off. Luckily I saved my rez for just such an occasion, preventing a disastrous E3 staff wipe…
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"I Bet Glasses Will Make The Babes Look Smarter…" Maybe if they weren't in those stupid silver lame' space suits, that is. Neeeeext!
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Funniest Comment- OK, in this lady's defense, she really was stunning, and watching her move around… (sigh). But, when I showed this pic to Andy Turner, our Editor in Chief, he mentioned: "I saw her down in the hall and, I don't know, but I thought she looked a bit… rubbery." Thing is, Andy is a Brit and so it came out like "I sawr ‘er doon in the ‘all and, I don' know, but I thought she loooked a bit… ROOBERY." And, you know, "roobery" is just such a freaking funny word that I had to keep it. Sorry, Babe.
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Just Freaky- I went up to this Babe and asked her if she was feeling OK. She told me not to worry- she was just preparing for her leading role in the upcoming ABC show "When Tanning Beds Attack". Your prize of a bottle of SPF 190 sunscreen is in the mail…
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Don't Choo Eyeball Me Foo'!- These have to be the most pissed-off-looking Booth babes ever, and I was almost afraid to ask them if I could take their picture. Hey, don't blame me- you're the one that agreed to wear black latex and a huge honking hip-holder. Plus, I think the one on the right looks like the late Angelique Pettyjohn in the Star Trek episode Gamesters of Triskelion. Note to all E3 PR agencies… I know that having the babes act all PO'd might be more appropriate to the theme of your game, but we gamers get plenty of opportunity to have gorgeous honeys scowl at us in real life, so just tell them to freaking smile next time, mmmmkay?
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Best Use Of Fur- OK, I made the category up- I just thought this outfit was funky. Every time I see her I think of a huge, human air freshener.
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Worst Missed Opportunity- So, get this. Scott was told by these Babes to "use us as props", and so he… does this. Jeez, Scott, where did your mother and I go wrong?
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Double-Take On The Show Floor- I think she's a Booth Babe, but she wasn't on-duty when I shot this… Either way this back tattoo made me turn around and virtually chase this poor woman down the hall, snapping as I went. Yes, people laughed at me, but damn it, I got the shot.
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The "I Went To Julliard For THIS?" Award- Editor-in-Chief Andy Turner mentioned to me that, on several occasions, while looking at the Babes he wondered of any of them said to themselves, while wearing their thigh-high boots and rubber bikinis, and being pawed by unshaved gamers, "I went to Julliard for THIS?" So, you can, I hope forgive me when I say that I actually laughed aloud when I saw this hat. Oh, yeah, and you can't tell, but her legs are crammed into a snake body as well, forcing her to adopt a pose that a contortionist would have winced at for hour upon hour. Throughout it all, however, her smile never wavered. Your stamina and good humor leave me in awe. Congrats, Babe, on winning the first of what we plan to make an annual award.
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And with that, we wrap up our (un)coverage of this year's show. See you next May- I'll be the guy with the glazed eyes, the vacant smile and, of course, the camera, always on the prowl for the very best of the best in Gaming Software- the E3 Booth Babes.
The End…
The author and photographer, alongside this year's Ultimate E3 Booth Babe winner Kathie Smith. It's a tough job but, hey, someone has to do it… Congrats again, Kathie! Please email all comments, hate mail and offers to be Mygamer.com's Spokesmodel to: mcook@forumwizard.net.
